Paris - Arrival

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My brother in law John(Judy's husband) drops me off at the airport. John too has been so kind to me ... particularly during the past 7-8 years. I have an hour or so before the flight leaves ... not much time to get into any trouble ... hmmm!

I check in and shortly afterwards I find a place inside the airport where smoking is allowed ... I think to myself ... what a treat .. I can sit down ... have a coffee and a few cigarettes ... my favorite pastime ... what a boring life I have eh!

As I approach the door to the smoking room I see a note on the door ..."minimum purchase $5.00 ... yikes! ... much too extravagant for me ... I decide to buy a coffee at the Second Cup counter and head outside to enjoy my coffee and cigarette ... my last one before the long flight to Paris ... I really want to enjoy this coffee and cigarette.

I just finish lighting my cigarette and a man approaches me ... he asks me for a cigarette ... we start to chat ... he tells me that he has had a terrible day ... lost his passport(he is from Ireland) ... his money etc

He learned that if he could get to Ottawa he could get a new passport within a couple of hours. Unfortunately he did not have the sixty dollars to get to Ottawa.A feeling of 'fear' started to swell up inside me ... I started to think to myself ... oh no! ... he is going to ask me for the sixty dollars ... yikes!

My fear was well founded ... eventually ... first with body language and than with words he gently asked me if I could help him.I tried to escape this dilemma with the excuse that I was on my way to Europe and only had a few euros in my pocket.

While chatting my memory was retrieving those times when I was stranded somewhere and there always seemed to be someone there to help me ... but $60.00 ... ouch!!

Eventually he progressed to the question of a card ... one of those plastic cards that give us access to cash ... almost anywhere ... today that 'almost anywhere' could be a curse!! J

I was trapped! ... how could I say I had no cash and no card that would provide me with access to cash!!

He knew where the cash machine was in the airport ... didn't even get a chance to finish my cigarette! and I lost track of my coffee somewhere along the way to the cash machine!! ... so much for enjoying one last cigarette and coffee before getting on the airplane.

While the cash withdrawl was in progress he was telling me how he actually needed $65.00 and ... one thing lead to another and before I pressed the 'OK' button ... the $60.00 grew to $100.00 ... yikes!!! ... and I was too cheap to spend the $5.00 to smoke inside the airport ... that'll teach me eh!! J

I left him with my email address ... don't know if I will see the $100.00 again ... oh well! ... I reminded myself about something I say to myself so often ... it's not about trusting this person or that person ... it's about trusting God.After repeating these few words to myself a few times ... I recover and I am almost grateful for having had the opportunity to help someone ... almost
Just before boarding the airplane I remember a dream I had a few nights before ... I was stranded in some foreign country ... with no passport ... no money etc ... was it me in the dream or this man from Ireland???

I get on the plane ... a young lady is in my seat ... she quickly apologizes and moves to the seat in the next row... directly behind me.The last passengers board and I am still alone in this block of 3 seats ... yuppee!!! ... i will be able to lay down and sleep during the flight ... perhaps a reward for helping the man from Ireland ... nope!Before I finish my supper a man from the other side of the plane comes and sits in the seat at the end of my row ... what??? ... I thought it was an unwritten law of long haul flights ... when someone is alone in a block of seats ... he or she intends to lay down and sleep ... as a matter of fact I remember participating in a game of sorts ... see who can get to the empty row of seats first?

So this gentleman makes himself comfortable ... I figure he is here for a long time ... not a good time! ... poop! Now about the lady who was sitting in my seat when I boarded the plane ... who is now sitting directly behind me. She has work to do during the flight ... her table is down and she is doing some sort of paperwork ... yuk! ... now I can't even put my seat back! ... what's going on ... in a matter of a few minutes I go from the excitement of the thought of being able to lay down and go to sleep ... to be compelled to attempt sleep sitting straight up ... I feel obliged to accomodate the young lady behind me who is trying to do some work ... poop!!! ... double poop!!!

These are not good omens so far eh!!!The gentleman who scooped my sleeping area returns to his original seat for breakfast and the young lady behind me lays down to sleep just before breakfast ... yup ... this young lady had a block of 3 seats all to herself ... all night! ... now why didn't the gentleman sit in her row? ... his seat was directly across ... who knows eh! ... life can be full of mystery sometimes!!

The airplane lands safely at Charles de Gaulle airport ... I haven't had much sleep ... if any ... What's next??

Since nothing happened on the way ... to alter my course that is ... I decide it's off to Vezelay!!!

Feeling OK ... eventually I find the train station ... it's in the airport ... yet finding it is no small accomplishment for me ... I get lost in a parking lot J

I go round and round trying to find transportation to this place called Vezelay ... directed from one lineup to another ... no one seems to know where it is ... and I have the impression it is in southern France ... completely wrong by the way!

I'm surprisingly patient ... I decide to enquire again about a bus ... to southern France ... the young lady at the information kiosk tells me there are no buses that go to southern France ... seems the only public transport to southern France is 'train' ... seems odd to me and of course I don't believe her ... turns out she is right though J

I am still wandering around aimlessly ... see the Sheraton Hotel ... figure there must be someone in there who can help me ... in I go

Now imagine this picture ... me with my backpack ... my walking stick ... my funny looking hat ... walking into the 4 or 5 star hotel ... by all societal norms I should be immediately escorted to the door ... being taken as a vagabond J

I plead my case with the first employee I see ... he gives me a friendly smile and suggests I go see the concierge ... so good so far ...

I hang around the concierge's desk for several minutes ... he is busy with paying clients J

Eventually it's my turn ... he listens attentively to my plea ... yup ... attentively! ... what a pleasant surprise ... a better reception than from all the other enquiries ...

And "BINGO" !! ... he has heard of Vezelay ... tells me he knows the region well

He gives me instructions and a map ... I must find my way to a train station in Paris via the subway ... a bit intimidating ... but I finally have some information.

He also mentions a city called "Nevers" ... unsolicited ... in our conversation ... I take this as a positive omen J

I find my way to the train station ... buy my ticket ... and have a couple of hours to wait

There are so many people in this train station ... so many!!!

I settle down in a less populated area ... eventually lay down on my backpack ... all the while there is this lady who is trying to do use the pay telephone right beside where I am waiting.

There are 3 pay telephones and she wanders from one to the other ... going through some ritual and cursing the telephones and the company and ... I learned some new swear words in french J

She was doing this when I arrived and she was still doing it when I left ... about 3 hours later ... what tenacity!!! ... what persistence!!! The people around would watch her and listen to her ... their response varied ... some laughed ... some discussed her behaviour with the stranger standing beside them ... some frowned.

"I got up to go for a coffee ... haven't eaten since the meal on the airplane

Looked at the menu board ... small expresso $1.25 ... large expresso $1.95 ... expresso with milk $2.00

I don't like black coffee ... but it seems I am too cheap to spend the extra few pennies! :-) ... I opt for the $1.25 small expresso.

I turned around, headed for one of those high stools where people put their coffee and lean their elbows on the counter!

Spinning on the stool ... haven't completed 180 degree turn ... I'm approached by a young lady with her hand out ... she is asking me if I have any 'small' money ... wonder what they mean by 'small' money!

Here we go again ... this is the gentleman from Ireland all over again.

I am too cheap to buy milk for my coffee and here I must dig into my pockets and empty them of all the coins!! ... paying for the milk would have been much cheaper!! J

I think to myself ... what am I supposed to learn with these experiences?? ... first at the airport in Canada ... and now in the train station in Paris!! I haven't even arrived at my destination(Vezelay)!!

I figure it must be something to the effect ..."spend it or I will take it away from you" J

After some more sober refection I come up with something better ... here I am, headed to Europe in the financial condition known on bathroom walls as ...

here I sit ... broken hearted
paid a dime
and only farted
yesterday
... I took a chance
saved a dime
and shit my pants!

or perhaps more politely ... " I don't have two nickels to rub together" or ... I don't even have a pot to piss in"

Yet I am hopeful that I will somehow survive ... ie I will be the recipient of someone else's generosity ... so I better be prepared to be generous myself!! ... who knows eh ... we will have to wait and see ...

While I was dozing or ... almost dozing ... head buried in my backpack ... hat over my head ...

I felt a hand tapping on my shoulder ... I turned around ... still in a bit of a daze ... seems the sleepless night was catching up with me ...

I found myself looking at the barrel of a rifle ... trying to focus ... I recognize a soldier bent down beside me holding his rifle and in my peripheral vision I could see 2 more soldiers standing around me ... Oh! Oh! ... this doesn't feel so good ... !

The memory of almost being arrested in Bethlehem in December(another story) was flashing through my mind

When my eyes were able to focus enough to see his face ... the anxiety quickly faded ... he was wearing a friendly look :-) ... he asked me in a very friendly tone if I was OK ... I smiled and replied ... yes ... a bit tired though J

The time to catch my train finally arrives ... wheh!!

While waiting for the train a public announcement is made about some disturbance in the area of Nevers causing a delay for the train arriving from Nevers ... the same announcement was posted several times on the large electronic bulletin board ... hmmm ... maybe someone knows I am on my way to Nevers J

Paris - Meditations While Waiting on the Train

So many people ... coming and going ... each with their own agenda ... carrying or dragging their personal baggage ... physical(luggage) and non-physical(emotional).

It occured to me that mankind has done a pretty good job of maintaining order in most of the world ... maintaining conditions where people ... men, women and children feel safe to venture out ... to the train station ... vis a vis "the law of the jungle" where each person is left to themselves ... the strong imposing their individual agenda and wishes on the weak ... etc etc

I am intrigued that I feel so positive about 'civilization' right now ... where did all the unfavourable thoughts and opinions go???

My sleepy eyes observed the faces of seemingly countless people today. I always find it interesting how most often our faces portray our 'state of being' in the moment ... particularly if we are executing our own agenda ... ie not involved in drama or theatrics to influence the outcome or opinion of other(s)

A happy face seems to stand out in a crowd - there are not so many of them! A sad face likewise! A face projecting a state of "carefree cheerfulness" ... an expression I learned from reading "Confession" by St Augustine. Carefree ... a word that speaks volumes ... perhaps most evident in toddlers ... children at the age where they seem to be convinced that they need not worry about where their next meal will come from.

My memory won't open the drawers where my particular memories of this period in my life are stored ... those times in my life when 'carefree cheerfulness' of toddlerhood persisted ... now I can only imagine.

"State of Carefree Cheerfulness" ... the word 'state' infers a finite space ... a geography ... bound with outer limits beyond which is outside the 'state' and within which exists the 'state'

For example there are 51 states in the USA ... seems to me there are more than 51 'states of being' ... the sad state ... the sorry state ... the happy state etc etc How do we migrate from state to state? ... how do we stay in a 'preferred' state ... what are the conditions, terms, influences etc that are the 'railway tracks' ... are all within our control ... why? ... why not?

How do we protect the boundaries ... who are the 'soldiers' on guard at the frontiers of our current 'state of being' ... preventing the entrance of 'contaminants' or 'enemies' into our current 'state of being'. How are these 'soldiers' nourished ... strengthened ... trained ?? How do we stop them from going Awall and allowing our 'state' to change??? for example from 'happy' to 'lethargic'

Arrival in Vezelay
May 21, 2004 Vezelay

After almost missing the bus ... I thought the train went all the way to Vezelay ... nope ... needed to transfer from the train to a bus ... and I hung around the train station waiting for the train to leave. After a while I figured I had better ask for help ... turns out I had to leave the train station and find the parking lot where the bus would be waiting to take us on to Vezelay. I just made it!

The next bus stop was a village called Avallons - all passengers disembarked so I figured this is the end of the line. I decided to confirm my assumption with the bus driver ... nope ... Vezelay is the next stop and I am the only passenger continuing to Vezelay ... hmmm! ... seems to confirm my feeling that much of my 'journey' is destined to be 'solo' ... me, myself and I!!

Arrive in Vezelay ... nervous feeling in my stomach ... is this the correct place? (the famous starting point for the Chemin St Jacques(Camino Santiago in Spanish) in France. While I am pulling my backpack out of the storage area of the bus I get up the courage to ask the bus driver if he knows of the Chemin St Jacques ... a rather abrupt and unfriendly "non" ... with a turning of his head from side to side to confirm his response(international body language for the word "no")

I assume by now he knew French was not my mother tongue and just in case I did not understand the French word "non" ... with his body language he left no room for discussion.

Now a bit more nervous I head down the street, walk past a busy restaurant and I notice a lady standing alone at the outdoor patio of the bar next door. I thought to myself ... what the heck I might as well get this over with ... if I am in the wrong place I might as well know.

What a pleasant surprise! This kind lady actually has heard of the Chemin St Jacques and she rather enthusiastically engages in conversation with me. I hear the word "religieux" and what sounds like a refuge for pilgrims ... my French is still quite rusty!

What a relief! I follow her directions and start walking up the hill. I am tired now ... it has been about 24 hours since leaving Canada and I have only eaten a croissant and drank 2 coffees all day ... too cheap!

I am thinking I would like to stop for a beer and a couple of cigarettes but it is getting late (almost dark) and I figure I had better get on with the task of finding a place to sleep.
Several hundred metres up this hill I notice a sign "Fransiscan" something or other and an announcement on the bulletin board with a photo of Ste Theresa de Lisieux(more about this later).

I walk into an open area where a few people are sitting around this inner courtyard. One of the ladies gives me an inquisitive glance ... the look that indicates "what do you want?" or "what are you looking for?" See I don't need to understand French ... seems my travelling in foreign countries where the language of the day is not English has forced me to improve my understanding of that international language known as body language ... seems all cultures use it.

I explain to this lady that I am looking for a pilgrim's refuge. She quickly replies that there is… absolutely no space here. She is now quite congenial(perhaps now that she knows I am a Chemin St Jacques pilgrim and not simply a vagabond!) She accompanies me back out onto the street ... more body language at this point ... with this action she is confirming her comment about no space here! J

She seems to be talking to herself ... saying out loud to herself ... where can I send you?

Before she has a chance to answer herself I jump in and let her know what the friendly lady at the bar down the hill had told me ... something about the word "religieux" and place to sleep. Just than the church bells started ringing ... a good omen?

The lady looks at her watch and says rather excitedly "Oui l'office ... l'heure de l'office". I figured out a few minutes later her excitement may have had its' roots more in the thought of getting rid of me than figuring out a place for me to sleep J

What an unkind thought eh! And about this nice lady who has no obligation to help me with anything. J

She explains to me that I will be able to find one of the Sisters(ah huh ... I figure this must be the meaning of the word "religieux") after l'office and I can ask her for help.

By now I have interpreted "l'office" to mean prayer time and I wonder to myself how long is prayer time? I have no idea and besides at the moment I'm in the mood for a beer ... not prayer!

Encouraged nonetheless I head towards the church.…I spot 2 nuns across the street opening a door into one of the buildings there and I quickly become quite excited. I can get the help I need waiting for the "l'office" to finish or worse yet, attend "l'office".

I quicken my pace and follow the 2 nuns into the building (as I am entering the building I think to myself ... this is pretty audacious of me ... I must be desperate!) I explain myself to one of the nuns. She is quite friendly and replies "wait until the "l'office" is finished and than ask one of the nuns for help. … hmmm ... seems my audacity was ill conceived after all! Also seems this cheap place to sleep comes at a price! J

I just remember that attending a mass in French in Medugorje several years ago lead to a free flight to Paris. I decide to attend "l'office" prayers and decide the beer will have to wait! J

The prayer time was quite pleasant mostly the singing of prayers by the nuns and monks. The voices were splendid and the event was long! I would come to really enjoy the singing( the choir of nuns and monks) over the next few days.

It turned completely dark while I was in church. When the prayer time was complete I quickly tried to figure out how to intercept one of the nuns on their way to wherever they go after "l'office" presumably somewhere outside of the church rather basilica ... very very large basilica!

I retrieved my backpack and walking stick and exited the side door of the basilica. Since no nuns were coming in my direction I start to panic a bit! ... thinking oh no! ... they will all escape and than what will I do?

Quickly went to my contingency plan ... what contingency plan? I had none! Instinct was all that remained. I saw some monks heading generally in my direction. I would approach a monk ... why not? …

I am almost desperate now ... not really ... yet the prospect of paying for an expensive hotel room or sleeping on the street was not very appealing at the moment.

I intercepted one of the monks (so much for courtesy again!) and I pleaded my case. His face was kind and he seemed empathetic towards me. He asked me to wait while he finished his tasks. He was carrying a musical instrument into the vestibule when I almost tripped him to get his attention J

I waited outside as several monks entered the vestibule, de-robed and walked past me again on there way out. Several pleasant "bonsoirs" but no offers to help. A few minutes later the monk with the kind face returned to assure me that he hadn't forgotten about me and that he would only be another minute or so. Could he somehow sense my impatience?

He returned and motioned me to follow him ... ah finally! ... off to my "cheap" accommodation J

We walked together to the monks' residence. On entering the residence he explained to me that talking is a no-no in the residence. I was impressed ... my kind of place ... no noise!! He returned with a couple of small pieces of paper in his hand. One a map to the refuge and on the other side of the paper instructions about how to get in the place.

He explained the basics to me and apologized that there would likely be nothing to eat for breakfast at the refuge. I was happy to have a bed. I said thank you and headed back down the hill.

Now I am really in the mood for a beer! J J